I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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