We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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