I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
