OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
