marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
