you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
It's like God shit irony all over that family
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
