If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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