i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize