Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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