shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
