Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
