We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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