I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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