I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
