Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
