Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just googled if crying burns calories
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
