i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
