Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
