After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize