How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
