I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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