Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
