stop calling my apartment porn island.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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