what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
