I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
