His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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