id be glad to
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
