watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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