You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
