every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
