Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
