if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize