I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
