i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
