Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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