Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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