Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
