Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
