Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
