Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
