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• (434): View more from Virginia

  well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard

  Fav 10 3355 1358

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  What is a male extremity?

  (813): View more from Florida

  i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex

  Fav 35 1040 5003

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• (516): View more from New York

  you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.

  Fav 64 9477 1675

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?

  Fav 5 3981 1505

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"

  Fav 6 1331 3847

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.

  Fav 1 715 516

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore

  Fav 4 1084 613

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"

  Fav 5 554 976

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• (530): View more from California

  I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.

  Fav 3 192 139

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just want cinnabon and vodka.

  Fav 0 66 9

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• (716): View more from New York

  Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?

  Fav 1 16 38

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.

  Fav 2 41 14

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.

  Fav 0 35 8

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