C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
