Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
do herpes really smell.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
