super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
