I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
