I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize