talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
