My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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