I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
