Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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