in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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