I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize