Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
