you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
