I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
