Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
are you so shy because you have an std?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
