bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
