porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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